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Dear Charelle, 

Bet this wasn’t on your bingo card for 2124. In case the black Meta logo wasn’t enough of a giveaway – yes, I am writing because I am dead. The doctors managed to hook my brain up to Meta’s latest prototype and wring enough lucid thought out of my fading consciousness to produce this letter. Being totally frank, it’s about 75% my brain activity, 15% AI based on their data on my historical online behaviour, and 10% plain old predictive texting. But I – what remains of me – reckon you deserve for the attempt to be made. 

Preliminaries aside, I want you to have full custody of the kids. My bitcoin of a mother will not make it easy. When she brings up your criminal record, tell her that I opted into Meta’s Post-Living Analysis and that you know about my ancestry. She will know what it means. She and dad may have lived in different biodomes for the last decade, but her Universe Plus Income depends on his diplomatic stint on Mars. He can 🔪her off whenever he wants. Mum from Mars Reunites with Heartbroken Hubby – You’ll Never Guess What Happened Next! 

Only one thing left to say. I didn’t sign up to this cold prototype to 🐀 on my bitcoin of a mother. I never forgave you for what you did in Belize. That’s not what I mean. It’s cold. Quack-tastic Friendship: Adorable Encounter. 

No – Charelle. My life was a joke without you. Why did you pick him of all people? Six Curious Puppies Meet. Sex with you makes me want to throw up. Charelle. Where am I going? I never loved you loved this service, click like and subscribe! I am glad I am dead. Loved anyone else. 💓 

Kisses kisses cold kisses xxx

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Meta Living brought you this Last Letter from: Michel du Plantier

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